What's Your Fantasy

I'll never cease to forget; to forgive
Myself or You.
I should have been louder,
And you should have listened.
You pushed it everytime,
And I just laid there
Letting it happen again and again.
So helpless, so afraid
Hot tears and smelly blankets covered my face.
"I just don't want to", I was barley audible.
"Hey, what's your fantasy?" was all I heard.
I've never felt so low, so hurt, so scared.
As much as I blame him,
I was at fault.
I kept going back,
Always hopeful.
'Maybe it won't happen again"
But it always did. Again and again and again.
I cried myself to sleep seeing his naked body next to me.
"How could you?", I would think.
I am not strong.
I am empty.
I am hurt.
I am scared.
I was weak.
"What's you fantasy?"
This is not it.