growing up and the abuse

growing up is hard to do,
there are so many things i'm not ready to lose,
so many truths i don't want to believe,
nobody there, i wipe my tears on my sleeve

at 17 i shouldn't worry about where i'm going to live,
my mom is the one person that i'll never forgive,
hurting me so many times with out an excuse,
i'm so sick of all the emotional abuse,

i've attempted to end my life once and again,
everytime, the person who saved me was a friend,

i just wanted to give up because i didn't know how much more i could take,
i didn't know how many more feeling i could fake,
to everyone else i was happy to be alive,
but really, i was just trying to survive,

several people tried to help me,
but everything they said, i just wouldn't believe,
so they left and let me be,
and once again i was alone and wiping my tears onto my sleeve,

i'm finally away from my mom and away from the abuse,
sometimes i'll still get the feeling that i have no use,

now i have to pay bills and make a living,
i feel to young to be worrying this much,
my mom is the one person i wont ever be forgving
she hurt me emotionally and physically i flinch everytime i receive a touch,

growing up is really tough,
it think i've had quite enough,
i remember my past but it's not something i want to believe,
i'm alone and wiping my tears onto my sleeve.