I feel hollow

I feel hollow. That’s about the only thing that can describe me right now. I feel like the world isn’t real. Like the things I touch, the air I breathe, the food I taste, the things I see aren’t real. Like I’m just watching it happen. Like when I walk it’s not really me that’s walking. Instead I have my head in the clouds.

Not a single day passes by without me dreaming about another world, about another person, about another life. But that isn’t real either. Of course it isn’t.

I can’t watch a movie without involving the persons in them. The persons that I’ve created. I can’t read a book without involving the persons in them. The persons that I’ve created. I don’t know why and I don’t know how but…. I don’t even know the but. I don’t know anything.

I need to eat to stay alive. I need to go to the toilet to stay alive. I need to take showers to not smell. I need to talk to people to not be lonely. I need to do a lot of minor things. But somehow they just seem… not real.

I feel hungry but I don’t feel like eating. I feel like doing something but I don’t know what. I don’t want to watch TV. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to talk to people. I don’t want to do anything.

I don’t feel anything normal. I feel hollow. That’s about the only thing that can describe me right now.