No name

He asked me for a letter, sweet with words of another girl.
I wrote him one and though it was heartfelt it was far from sweet.
It reads so;
Just to let you know, you’re an idiot; a hypocritical, deceitful idiot.
Screw her, screw your brother, and screw you.
Most girls wouldn’t have put up with this shit, and i have since the near beginning.
You take advantage of the fact that I’d rather appear as if I don’t care.
The only reason I do that is so you cannot see when I am jealous or mad or sad!
It’s so you won’t feel nagged or guilty,
so you only have to see me as happy or even annoying.
I’d rather be called annoying in contrast to controlling.
I’d rather you pushed me away like your little sister than for you to hate me like I hate him.
If you continue to be an idiot, if you continue to make me angry, it’s inevitable that I’ll eventually return the favor.
Maybe that’s what that day was all about, that one when I ran with him.
I remember telling myself; I’m not doing anything wrong.
He’s probably out too with a bunch of girls he helped pick up.
What I’m saying is neither a threat nor a promise.
It’s simply a truth proven by fact.
Any girl would tell you as much.
It’s demeaning of me to be with someone so mean it’s nearly abuse.
It’s inane of me to keep ignoring how scurrilous and rude you can be,
for me to keep giving out second chances when I promised myself I wouldn’t.
But, the fact is I am an idiot, too.
I’m silly and demean myself like a dog; a bitch, the title fits.
I’m submissive and I admit it, it’s disreputable.
I but I cannot help it, though I wish I could.
And I’ll continue pretending, because it’s easier than letting you think I care.