It was never easy

It was never easy
stepping out of that door.
Looking out for those people
calling themselves strong.
Feeling the heat of those around me
staring down at me with resent.
So im standing at this brink-
right from wrong, I know not.
But ill whisper-close my eyes
and jump.
Taking that breath
that last breath.
Because I’ve given up trying
so hard to fit in
with what others say should be me.
For this time call me by name
don’t pretend to know me.

Because this step is the edge
of the make-or-break
and im going in.
I’ve lost battles left and right,
called my self stupid,
for mistakes I can never fix.
Broken; going in all the way.
Half hearted but true.
One step further..
last breath..
jump!

It was never easy
stepping out of that door…