I'm Not Okay

So deep in my head
All I see is black
Too many thoughts running through my mind
No one needs me
Sometimes I believe
Can't remember complete happiness
Or the last time I truly smiled
Breathe in, breathe out
Every once in a while
Blank face
Clouded mind
Is this what it feels like to die?
I wish,
Scared to live, scared to die
But sometimes only the strong survive.
Believe me, I'm lying
I'm really not okay
I fake a smile,
To get by for a while
Bad day after day
Every day, skies of grey.