It Was Always Your Way
The worst part of this is that I have to go to bed each night
And wonder why you chose this.
You sleep with the guilt of knowing why.
I sleep with the guilt of having not said goodbye.
My eyes can't seem to run out of tears for you,
And here they keep running down my cheeks before they fall.
I can't seem to find myself & what's supposedly true.
I can't find which way will make it through it all.
Hands shaking as they try to push my eyes into my head,
I'm trying to figure out what it was you said.
It was something about the distances,
Something about the stress of this.
I thought love had no boundaries,
But you claim happiness is something it won't guarantee.
What makes it worse is that I know you're hurt,
And yet, though you're also crying,
You say your decision won't be overturned,
And so both sides of this are dying.
I did hear that I made your tears drop,
And I apologize for that, I do.
But I made you cry just one night,
And you've caused me to sob for, not me, but you.
I could drown myself in all these useless tears,
But it's still evident, this loneliness I fear.
My only prayer is for you to be happy & get what you want,
And if that's without me, then I'll try to move on.
I thought you were better than this childish shit,
And so that's why I can't understand your nonsense.
Anthony, please take in these words I write,
Because even though they're only ink on a lowly page,
I put my heart in every last simple phrase.
It's been awhile since I said I loved you,
Because it's been so long since I've heard it,
And yet I believe it's stuck inside of you, deep within.
When I last held you, I remember just one thing.
You pushed the hair back from my face,
And in the darkness that is my life, a light grew, & you said, "I love you."
I called you the other night,
Heard the way you said my name,
And I swear it sounded almost like a cry.
I don't hate you, and I never will.
If I am here for any reason at all,
It's so I can show you a love that will always fill.
I love you sounds so cliche,
But then again it was always your way.
And wonder why you chose this.
You sleep with the guilt of knowing why.
I sleep with the guilt of having not said goodbye.
My eyes can't seem to run out of tears for you,
And here they keep running down my cheeks before they fall.
I can't seem to find myself & what's supposedly true.
I can't find which way will make it through it all.
Hands shaking as they try to push my eyes into my head,
I'm trying to figure out what it was you said.
It was something about the distances,
Something about the stress of this.
I thought love had no boundaries,
But you claim happiness is something it won't guarantee.
What makes it worse is that I know you're hurt,
And yet, though you're also crying,
You say your decision won't be overturned,
And so both sides of this are dying.
I did hear that I made your tears drop,
And I apologize for that, I do.
But I made you cry just one night,
And you've caused me to sob for, not me, but you.
I could drown myself in all these useless tears,
But it's still evident, this loneliness I fear.
My only prayer is for you to be happy & get what you want,
And if that's without me, then I'll try to move on.
I thought you were better than this childish shit,
And so that's why I can't understand your nonsense.
Anthony, please take in these words I write,
Because even though they're only ink on a lowly page,
I put my heart in every last simple phrase.
It's been awhile since I said I loved you,
Because it's been so long since I've heard it,
And yet I believe it's stuck inside of you, deep within.
When I last held you, I remember just one thing.
You pushed the hair back from my face,
And in the darkness that is my life, a light grew, & you said, "I love you."
I called you the other night,
Heard the way you said my name,
And I swear it sounded almost like a cry.
I don't hate you, and I never will.
If I am here for any reason at all,
It's so I can show you a love that will always fill.
I love you sounds so cliche,
But then again it was always your way.