Giving Up.

I can't think with this mind,
everything's so jumbled and messed up.
From thoughts of 'what if's,
and thoughts of loved ones.
Dreams leaving me awake at night,
with no one to listen but me.
Music can't be everything,
my friends is what keeps my breathing.
And it's so hard,
because I'm trying not to get lost.
And somehow,
everyone around me just ends up as fucked up as me.

With these little loveless lives,
darling, lie and say you love me.
Dark little lies,
with the monster that have all white eyes.
From hours of staring out the window,
to weeks of never stepping a foot out of this house.
Days of this heart hurting,
and me just thinking of reasons why.
The same routine every day,
can't a person get sick of just doing nothing?
And I pray,
with my heart getting heaver.
If God's so wonderful,
why does He never looks my way?

Attitudes I never want to show you,
or anyone else in my life.
Learned lessons learned with,
hands and fists and yelling.
Maybe if I go away and pack my stuff,
everyone else will be okay.
It's just hard to say why you're feeling so desperate,
with no answers in your head.
So I guess I'll listen to my music,
and help my friends with words of advice I'll never use myself.