i still love him

i fell in love with him when i first saw him hanging around with my brother. he had a multi colored mowhawk. he has tattoos on his arms and on between his shoulders that says 'lost". he had gages in his ears and a lip ring. he is funny and easy to be around. he drives a maroon mustang. he used to hang around my house for days on end till he moved in. he used to act a bit childish but he says he grew up. i wish i had the courage to tell him that he holds all my love and stole my heart. i love him so much that i cant hardly function. i miss him verry much. a few months ago he left back to live at home with his dad. he doesnt come and see my brother cause hes not alowed in the town i live in anymore. sure he mad a few stupid mistakes but no ones perfect. i lie to my friends that i look at him as an adopted brother. i dont love him like a brother i'm in love with him deeply. hell never know it cause he doesnt love me like that. he sees me as a sister. i tried so hard not to fall for him. but in the end i fell so hard for him. now he has a stedy girlfriend wont ever look at me like that. i wish he did so badly. theres nights i dream about him being mine. then theres nights that i cry for him not to leave. this is my deepest dark secret that i have to let out. what i m saying is the truth. the person that holds my heart and sould and all my love. his name is c.j. beers or better known as charlie j.beers. i cant help the fact that i fell in love with him i. to those that know him please dont tell him cause he'll never speak to me if he knows. and to those that dont know him dont worry about ever talking to him. he is my life and that life is fading so quickly that im harldy talk to people anymore besides family. all the selfconfidence i had is also fading. he brought me back to life in some ways that i will say. i dont know what to do when i cant move on. this is the confession of my broken heart. thanks for listening to a broken and fading soul.