We can't Escape.
All around me, all of them are the same. Parents, siblings, friends, lovers, their faces are starting to blend together. I no longer find what I seek. My illusions of happiness are suddenly becoming less alluring. Generally, I would not find such deep sadness, yet, when I look at you. I now notice how much I am missing. I am missing the very thing I need most. I can’t tell you what it is, I feel then, you wouldn’t understand.
What I can tell you is similar. The scent of death lingers around me. Truly, I wish not to die, but I wish to no longer be. I’m not sure if that really makes sense. Somehow, my mind has made this truth so. I am slowly, and painfully fading from this life. You may never read this. Somewhere, inside my heart, I hope you do. For, it is me writing theses words. I’ve thought about them. They are my unspoken truth.
I wish you to know how much I don’t belong here. I know many people feel like this. I have a decent but hard life, like many others. But, I can tell you this. This world, possibly, your world is killing me. How long have we known each other? Wow, it had been so long. I suppose, if I would have told you the truth from the beginning, it might have been easier. But, now, it is too late. I really wish to tell you all this. I wish to tell you how unhappy I truly am in life and what you do for me. Yet, something stops me.
I wish it were not so, but you stop me. Hold no sadness, you never did it intentionally. For the sake of your happiness, I said nothing. Now, you drift from me. Now, I drift from you, hoping that this is merely a bad dream. I can not escape from you. I can not escape form myself, the self the longs for you. Truly, it is an increasingly painful situation. I wish you to know that, when I see you, and talk with you, my heart breaks. You are killing me. I come to regret our meeting, but, I don’t know where I would be without you. I suppose, no one is to blame for this outcome. We did everything the best we could.
I’d like you to know something else, though. You, are a special human being. There is a possibly, that you aren’t human. And how could you be? You are far beyond your time. Sadly, that will always cause you the same burden. You will always lose those you love. As I have. This is how I am losing you. Our time has not yet come. Rest assured, one day. I shall be back for you. Even in death, I will not forget you. I can’t escape you, and I’m grateful.
What I can tell you is similar. The scent of death lingers around me. Truly, I wish not to die, but I wish to no longer be. I’m not sure if that really makes sense. Somehow, my mind has made this truth so. I am slowly, and painfully fading from this life. You may never read this. Somewhere, inside my heart, I hope you do. For, it is me writing theses words. I’ve thought about them. They are my unspoken truth.
I wish you to know how much I don’t belong here. I know many people feel like this. I have a decent but hard life, like many others. But, I can tell you this. This world, possibly, your world is killing me. How long have we known each other? Wow, it had been so long. I suppose, if I would have told you the truth from the beginning, it might have been easier. But, now, it is too late. I really wish to tell you all this. I wish to tell you how unhappy I truly am in life and what you do for me. Yet, something stops me.
I wish it were not so, but you stop me. Hold no sadness, you never did it intentionally. For the sake of your happiness, I said nothing. Now, you drift from me. Now, I drift from you, hoping that this is merely a bad dream. I can not escape from you. I can not escape form myself, the self the longs for you. Truly, it is an increasingly painful situation. I wish you to know that, when I see you, and talk with you, my heart breaks. You are killing me. I come to regret our meeting, but, I don’t know where I would be without you. I suppose, no one is to blame for this outcome. We did everything the best we could.
I’d like you to know something else, though. You, are a special human being. There is a possibly, that you aren’t human. And how could you be? You are far beyond your time. Sadly, that will always cause you the same burden. You will always lose those you love. As I have. This is how I am losing you. Our time has not yet come. Rest assured, one day. I shall be back for you. Even in death, I will not forget you. I can’t escape you, and I’m grateful.