Dave.

there once was a man called Dave,
who desperately needed a shave,
his girlfriend said,
"get out of bed!"
and gave him a little wave.

Dave was confuzzled,
"whats up with my fuzzle?"
he realized,
to his surprise,
he needed to shave his muzzle.

he did the deed,
and she was pleased,
"oh, thank god for that!"
but then she said,
"get out of bed!
now your way too fat!"

Dave went away,
in much dismay,
he left the house for good.
he did his packing,
and he was laughing,
he'd shot her through the foot.

The end.