Drowning

Crying in my head when people are around not showing the pain that I feel.

Confusing people around me with a fake smile on my face.

Still thinking every second that passes about what I have done.

Replaying it in my head over and over.

My mind and body frightened about what I have done.

Wanting to put it so far back in my mind.

Traped with fear in me that no one can know.

Wanting it out but it won't let go.

Traped in a cage of pain and confusion not knowing what I'm suppose to feel.

Wanting to smile a real smile and not remember what I have done for a few seconds.

I lied to myself and body promosing I wouldn't do what I have done.

Not being able to take it back or undo this what I did.

Wanting to feel happy a little for this but not bale to.

Traped inside my head the pain crawls.

The confusion scrambles in my head.

I am lost in a pool of confusion drowning in my own fear and pain.

So many things that could save me.

Things that can answer my pain and confusion.

But they are not being answered and I am not being saved.

Now my pool of confusion is now a sea.

Being pulled down deeper in my pain and confusion drowning