What Shall I Call Him?
What shall I call him?
Shall I call him a stranger?
So different from what I dreamt him to be
A soul so loved, yet so lonely...
A heart so adored, yet so black...
A face so wonderful, but he turned his back
Broke my heart though I loved him so
Even though I would die for him
He will watch me go.
Empty promises that made me no sense
Offered so little solace for the damage done
The setting sun
Could not have seen this coming.
Could not I meet his needs?
Why must he satisfy his craving distress
On my emptiness
On something that brings me to my knees
In tears, in hurt, in dissatisfaction
At this boy I dreamt him to be.
What shall I call him?
Shall I call him a liar?
For tormenting me with all his beautiful words
Words that were nothing but empty
But were the prettiest thing I ever heard
This boy I dreamt him to be.
And if I were to try to hold him again
Would he want to be in my arms again?
Want to kiss me in the rain again?
Want to love me the way I love him again?
If I were to say
I love you
I need you
I want you to stay
I want you to fix everything
And be the boy I dreamt you to be
What would he do?
What shall I call him?
Shall I call him a cheat?
For doing everything in his power to hurt me...
And for not loving me the way he should love me...
A voice dripping of saccharine
A heart bleeding for him
And yet he never changes.
If I were to reach for his hands again
Would he want to pull me close again
Would he want to touch me the way he does again
Would he want to fall into my eyes again?
And should I scream to him for safety?
Why am I the protector?
Why am I the one who always
Pull him out the the dirt?
This boy I dreamt him to be...
Why must I be put through the torture
Of watching him fall again
and again
and again
And yet he never can do anything but watch me suffer.
What shall I call him?
Shall I call him a traitor?
For leaving me and my life in danger
And dropping me when he feels it necessary?
Shall I ever want to hear him speak again
Or want to hear him breathe again
Or want to see his face again
Or need to feel his touch again?
For his lies have torn me til I cannot feel
Was this his true intent? His will?
And because he says this to my face
Watch me tremble as he falls to waste
And collapses to disgrace
Misery takes its place.
Why can't he listen?
Why can't he trust?
Why after other things must his heart lust?
Why can't I ever be enough?
Though I care for him
Long for him
Breathe for him
It's never ever going to be the right thing
And I refuse to suffer anymore
Because my heart has had its toll.
What shall I call him?
Shall I call him my lover?
What shall I call this?
Shall I call it over?
What shall I say?
What shall I do?
He's not the boy I dreamt to be...
Shall I call him a stranger?
So different from what I dreamt him to be
A soul so loved, yet so lonely...
A heart so adored, yet so black...
A face so wonderful, but he turned his back
Broke my heart though I loved him so
Even though I would die for him
He will watch me go.
Empty promises that made me no sense
Offered so little solace for the damage done
The setting sun
Could not have seen this coming.
Could not I meet his needs?
Why must he satisfy his craving distress
On my emptiness
On something that brings me to my knees
In tears, in hurt, in dissatisfaction
At this boy I dreamt him to be.
What shall I call him?
Shall I call him a liar?
For tormenting me with all his beautiful words
Words that were nothing but empty
But were the prettiest thing I ever heard
This boy I dreamt him to be.
And if I were to try to hold him again
Would he want to be in my arms again?
Want to kiss me in the rain again?
Want to love me the way I love him again?
If I were to say
I love you
I need you
I want you to stay
I want you to fix everything
And be the boy I dreamt you to be
What would he do?
What shall I call him?
Shall I call him a cheat?
For doing everything in his power to hurt me...
And for not loving me the way he should love me...
A voice dripping of saccharine
A heart bleeding for him
And yet he never changes.
If I were to reach for his hands again
Would he want to pull me close again
Would he want to touch me the way he does again
Would he want to fall into my eyes again?
And should I scream to him for safety?
Why am I the protector?
Why am I the one who always
Pull him out the the dirt?
This boy I dreamt him to be...
Why must I be put through the torture
Of watching him fall again
and again
and again
And yet he never can do anything but watch me suffer.
What shall I call him?
Shall I call him a traitor?
For leaving me and my life in danger
And dropping me when he feels it necessary?
Shall I ever want to hear him speak again
Or want to hear him breathe again
Or want to see his face again
Or need to feel his touch again?
For his lies have torn me til I cannot feel
Was this his true intent? His will?
And because he says this to my face
Watch me tremble as he falls to waste
And collapses to disgrace
Misery takes its place.
Why can't he listen?
Why can't he trust?
Why after other things must his heart lust?
Why can't I ever be enough?
Though I care for him
Long for him
Breathe for him
It's never ever going to be the right thing
And I refuse to suffer anymore
Because my heart has had its toll.
What shall I call him?
Shall I call him my lover?
What shall I call this?
Shall I call it over?
What shall I say?
What shall I do?
He's not the boy I dreamt to be...