Breathe.
It’s funny I’ll be the first to admit, I couldn’t breathe when you were around and now that you’re gone I feel like my breath left me and my lungs stopped working.
Thinking of you makes rivers caresses the cresses of not having enough sleep because I don’t want to see your blood strained body.
Because it seems every time I blink flashes of blood revert back when I sit in silence I can hear the gunshot, so I try to drown it out with music but everything in English reminds me of you.
So I venture to foreign countries to lose myself with them, so that your memory won’t resurface because honestly I’m tired of crying.
I couldn’t breathe when you were around but with you gone I can’t even exhale, because an inhale won’t come, and I’m slowly suffocating, I want this feeling gone, but it won’t leave me because you were mine.
My soul mate my lover my everything my always my never my nothing my enemy, and I want you back but the thing with death is that there’s no return, and your spirit no longer lingers.
It’s true I hate remembering, but I will never hate the memories, I only hate remembering because I know that we will never have new ones.
That the ones I have are the only ones I’ll ever have, that these memories will be forgotten by the time I’m old and soon your name will be erased, I love you.
I still do, and always will, the pain fades away and I’m left with the muted happiness, and the dark becomes my canvas and these tears become my paint and I’ll paint us together again and I’ll make sure that I’ll paint over it every night so it never dries.
You completed me, and you will always, even when that other someone comes by, they will never fill your space completely, your shoes are way too big for anyone fill.
I guess this is my good bye to you, as much as it hurts, you are my never, but it seems my lungs are working again.
These short spasms of breath match the way my lungs worked when I got that phone call, the quiver in my lip matches the way it would when you made me smile and laugh so much I got sick.
These tears are the ones that flowed when you made me laugh too hard, or when we were trying to be super heroes and jump off the truck but only realized we were un-athletic and ended up hurting ourselves while trying to tuck and roll, remember the sound your head made on the wet grass.
And how we screamed for hours, even after we could no longer be heard, remember the kiss you stole behind my garage when we were hiding from my mother.
Remember how we promised to be there for each other no matter what and how we sealed it with a swig of cream soda, I still regret freezing when you said I love you, but I don’t think it would have made a difference.
Remember all the little things we used to keep, the random things we used to think about, the way we could lay beside each other without saying a word for hours, just being content with breathing the same air.
I won’t ever regret you, don’t believe what anyone else says, I will never regret you, because you will always be here, and I’ll keep up with my respiration if you keep up with being see through.
It’s funny I’ll be the first to admit it, when I was near you I couldn’t breathe, but now with you gone my lungs stopped working, and every breath comes in a painful spasm.
Thinking of you makes rivers caresses the cresses of not having enough sleep because I don’t want to see your blood strained body.
Because it seems every time I blink flashes of blood revert back when I sit in silence I can hear the gunshot, so I try to drown it out with music but everything in English reminds me of you.
So I venture to foreign countries to lose myself with them, so that your memory won’t resurface because honestly I’m tired of crying.
I couldn’t breathe when you were around but with you gone I can’t even exhale, because an inhale won’t come, and I’m slowly suffocating, I want this feeling gone, but it won’t leave me because you were mine.
My soul mate my lover my everything my always my never my nothing my enemy, and I want you back but the thing with death is that there’s no return, and your spirit no longer lingers.
It’s true I hate remembering, but I will never hate the memories, I only hate remembering because I know that we will never have new ones.
That the ones I have are the only ones I’ll ever have, that these memories will be forgotten by the time I’m old and soon your name will be erased, I love you.
I still do, and always will, the pain fades away and I’m left with the muted happiness, and the dark becomes my canvas and these tears become my paint and I’ll paint us together again and I’ll make sure that I’ll paint over it every night so it never dries.
You completed me, and you will always, even when that other someone comes by, they will never fill your space completely, your shoes are way too big for anyone fill.
I guess this is my good bye to you, as much as it hurts, you are my never, but it seems my lungs are working again.
These short spasms of breath match the way my lungs worked when I got that phone call, the quiver in my lip matches the way it would when you made me smile and laugh so much I got sick.
These tears are the ones that flowed when you made me laugh too hard, or when we were trying to be super heroes and jump off the truck but only realized we were un-athletic and ended up hurting ourselves while trying to tuck and roll, remember the sound your head made on the wet grass.
And how we screamed for hours, even after we could no longer be heard, remember the kiss you stole behind my garage when we were hiding from my mother.
Remember how we promised to be there for each other no matter what and how we sealed it with a swig of cream soda, I still regret freezing when you said I love you, but I don’t think it would have made a difference.
Remember all the little things we used to keep, the random things we used to think about, the way we could lay beside each other without saying a word for hours, just being content with breathing the same air.
I won’t ever regret you, don’t believe what anyone else says, I will never regret you, because you will always be here, and I’ll keep up with my respiration if you keep up with being see through.
It’s funny I’ll be the first to admit it, when I was near you I couldn’t breathe, but now with you gone my lungs stopped working, and every breath comes in a painful spasm.