On My Own

Sometimes I forget that I'm alive
Until I feel the pain I cause myself
My visible emotions aren't hard to hide
Until I get that razor off the shelf

The liquid from inside immediately turns red
Though I feel it should be black
The thoughts keep racing in my head
And I know there's no turning back

I've done this to myself for far too long
It's become a necessity to live
It's hard to ignore that beautiful siren's song
I get nothing in return, though I give and give

My masquerade ends when the dark night falls
The mask I wear crumbles and breaks
One voice, the loudest; "Let it go," She calls
That one voice above the rest is all it takes

Till I'm on my knees, hands clasped in prayer
Crying, begging, pleading for redemption
My tear-stained face is upturned, but the air
Offers my broken soul no Christ, no salvation

People say He loves me and shall set me free
I find no evidence pointing to His existence
I've read His word but felt no hope stirring in me
I am no longer capable of taking the path of least resistance

Someone, please, hear my desperate cries
I've broken myself, marred myself, just to be alone
Alive in my misery, tears form behind my eyes
Please believe me: I can't do this on my own.