you tied my ankles to anchors and tossed me into the sea

I felt happiness
slide through my fingers
in April,
like fine grains of sand.

The wind carried it
with the broken pieces
of my heart.
I had been left,
pregnant
with solitude.

I wonder if my words
meant nothing to you,
if my love
was of no value.

Now,
all of these months later,
i cant even bend
to pick up my dignity.

When you see me again,
struggling with myself
and my loss of youth;
will you realize you fathered this child
of despair?

That you created
these endless waves
that i no longer fight against?

I've kept my lips hushed
in this sea of desire.
And now i find myself,
helpless;
and not smiling
but drowning.