Outlet from the pain inside

Desperatly i cry out pleading for your help
I cringe as the dark feelings bubble up inside me once again
I search for and outlet from this pain im feeling
A sick feeling rolls up my spine as i stare at the knife's shiny tip
I can't help myself as i feel myself slowly walking towards it
I hesitate as my hand touches the knifes handle
A memory or you slips into my mind causing me to drop the knifes handle
I can't do this to myself knowing how much it would hurt you
A shiver of pleasure fills my body as i feel your warm arms touch my cold skin
I know that look in your eyes
I don't want to have to see it ever again
The look is one of great pain and missunderstanding
Your eyes dart across my skin looking for any mark's that might have been made
You smile happy to discover that my skin remains unmarked
Without you I don't know what would have happened
I don't know how different my life would have been
I look into your crystal clear blue eyes
You look straight back at me with love and hope in your eyes
With your help I know I can stop these dark feeling's from taking ahold of me
Desperatly I reach out pleading for your help