Russian Roulette

Will there be a time that
you really won't be there?
That you won't even bid me
Goodbye and say you care?

And even then, I'll call out
For you to hear my voice
I'll run off, I'll find you
And when I do, rejoice!

But what will happen when I don't,
Will I ever see your face again?
Will I ever touch your hand
And feel the love you lent?

Will I ever see your eyes,
That always distracts my mind?
Will you ever bring back my heart,
That faints when fights rewind?

I'll cry my eyes out on my bed,
So much harder by the minute
And when no more tears fall,
This is the time, this is it...

I'll go to one corner, emotionless
And sit so scared, alone.
And then remember what they say
"Am I really emo?"

Hard to believe I was once one of them
The happy couples that walked by
Holding hands, talking sweet
With very happy smiles

"Am I really emo? Am I?"
I ask myself again
And then I find the answer's true
I'll count one to ten

One is for the day you said
"Would you be my girl?"
Two is for the eyes that cried
With joy and tears like pearls

Three is for the words we say
"I love You."
Four is for the months we made
Did we really make it through?

Five is for the calls we make
Every single hour
Six is for letters I gave
That you ripped and tore

"You don't even tell you rip them!"
Seven words I tell you
And you don't even really listen
When I ask you what to do

But there were eight wishes you promised
Your love, care, smiles, happiness
Your hugs gifts and calls
Especially your sweet kisses

And the nine times you betrayed me
Never really mattered
Just as long as you're with me
Love just overpowered

Every time you gave me
A bear when you would leave
Ten stuffed animals all in all
And ten roses on my birthday's eve

But did you really care for me,
While I loved you so?
Did you ever think of me,
When you were out with her?

So now I'll get two things
Which symbolizes me and you
One which made me bleed love
And the other, a trigger to pull

I'll use you, the blade
To cut deep into my wrists
I'll love the pain, I'm used to it
This is just another twist

I'll give my last words
"I love you! Goodbye!"
I'll cry out my final tears
While asking you "Why?"

Then I'll get myself, the gun
Position: Russian Roulette
I'll ready myself, pull the trigger
And out comes the bullet...