Monster

Every time the thought crosses my mind,
I think of you and what you said;
how my continuation of cutting,
would have destroyed our relationship.

I feel as though I'm a monster,
I know it really hurts you;
but it hurts me too, giving up something so important,
in so little time, with so many temptations.

The need just keeps growing stronger,
and many say they're proud of me;
for making it this long is truly a miracle,
for I was wholeheartedly in love with the pain.

"Would you love me,
if I was a failure?"

Apparently you can't,
if it's hard to love me during this;
if when I really need you the most,
you just want to run away.