Every memory, every sense, swallows me whole.

A rainbow of emotion spinning through
my head
on a twisted merry-go-round
singing a melody to itself
so ludacris that only memories can
patch it together into a quilt,
suffocating any sane thought.

Everything so familiar, so close
yet so far into the future.
I'm stuck in the past
with every haunting sense
that I've ever felt before,
reaching for the light of the future, the present.

My eyes are seeing nothing clearly
except
what's been forced into my head by my confused brain.
Everything so blurry
and too far from the tips of my aching fingers.
Emotion etched into my every bone,
every move.
So overwhelmed
that nothing, no one,
can pull through into this pitch black hell.
I have to claw my way
back
myself.

I'm alone and my mind is
screaming
insanity
into my unwilling ears.
Thoughts controlling me from the inside out
with no way
to silence
my open fears.

Slowly, when my brain has had enough,
it will let me return to the light again
so I can leave this darkness
once again
and I can choke out
the burning water
from my weary lungs,
breathe again.