Something Because It's nothing

I must sound like every other heartbroken kid out there.
Actually, I know I do. I sound so pathetic. And feeling physically weak.
Maybe my true nature is starting to unfold, the one of a selfish, spoiled brat.

I wish someone else had this power over me. Anyone but you.
But that's not the way it is. After all, each drawing needs it's shading.

Summed up, it's all drama. And I hate drama shows.
But I guess I am a walking drama show now.

I'm just glad and still wishing no one sees me this way.

And I wish you'd love me. So all years wouldn't be wasted.
I can't love anyone else any more, it's become clear.
Those months back when you faked love for me were some of my happiest... Months...
Shit. I shouldn't cry now...

Ugh.
Anyway, so. Those months weren't even real, afterwards I thought it was my fault keeping you around when you didn't want me anymore.
But hearing everything was fake makes me blame you, too.

But those months are what I want. But just for real.

Knowing I'll never get that...
Hurts...
Like something because it’s…
Nothing.