Lacking

I'm a disaster in the making,
I'm not you're product, not your toy.
I'm weaker for your taking,
But stronger than I know.
I'd hate to bend or break you,
Yet I'd love to watch the show.
I'm a masochist at heart,
But you don't really know.
I'll call you by your first name,
If you call me by my last.
Incognito is my specialty,
For it is only best.
It's hard to stay at peace with you,
When you act so cold.
"Make love, not war",
or so I have been told.
In your mind, I'm crazy,
But in my heart, I'm sane.
To you, I'm f---ing lazy,
and that will never change.
I'm pathetic and ungrateful,
that's all you ever say.
I try to make you proud,
but it doesn't work that way.
I love you, but I hate you.
I just can't see you bleed.
I'll just keep on falling,
and getting weaker at the knees.
I'm smarter than you think,
I can sense what's going on.
You act like nothing's happening,
I just can't tell you wrong.
I'll lie to you while I'm standing,
In your frightening presence.
I really hate to say it,
But I'm still lacking confidence.