Lust not Love

I feel like I need to be loved,
I want to be lying in your arms,
Listening to you tell me sweet nothings.
I can't doubt your feelings,
I make you want to have one hundred one night stands
and I know that you don't love me.
But for now it's alright.
For now it's just something we both need,
And how we feel has nothing to do with the predicament.
I tried to tell you it was wrong from the start,
We pretended for the moment we were someone else.
But after a while we start to fade,
It's not enough anymore.
And even if I've fallen head over heels in love with you,
You'd only see me as a distraction,
And something to comfort you when you're down.
You used me,
Degraded me for a free ride,
But I know in my heart I did this to myself.
Denial is heavy on my shoulders and I can't help but feel it bring me down.
There's nothing else to speak of,
You turned me into something raw and low,
Just because I wanted your affection.
You tried to tell me,
I wouldn't listen.
Soon we became something we weren't and the feelings needed to stop,
So you cut me off,
Became frigid to the world.
And no matter how much I want to say I was the only one you let in,
In my soul, body, and mind I know it's not true.
I know nothing of you,
I wish I did and at that moment I finally realized what I had mistaken for a love affair was something more complicated.
It was something you could never understand because I couldn't bring myself to say it.
I felt dirty and used up,
Just like every old night,
And after all that I didn't get anything out of it.
Because I lust after you,
I never loved you.
You can't love a stranger,
And sadly that's all you were.
Deep down inside I know I was as much at fault as you,
But I lost my innocence and became something different.
Something to be ashamed of.
And the worst part is if I could go back in time and change it,
I know that I wouldn't.