Blind Eye
Dream of the day when I'd make you something I could be proud of.
When you told me your lies I believed you in spite of myself.
You told me what you thought I wanted to hear,
And I turned away at every hurtful thing you did.
I made up lies for you,
Set myself into heavy depression and denial.
But I gave it all for you,
And all because I got involved in the wrong thing.
I didn't think that it would be something like this,
I didn't mean to let it get this far,
But it did and I can't take it back.
It's a secret,
A lie,
A fake life that we led.
We held it up until the very end,
And never in all my years have I felt so torn and yet so put together.
You didn't care and just wanted someone to use.
I didn't think anything of it,
I just clawed after you and it turns out that was what you needed.
I'm happy to be of use to you,
But when I sit inside these four white walls,
I wonder if it was worth it at all,
To listen,
To feel,
To hurt,
To die inside,
And the answer always remains.
Yes.
Heavy set lies and cheats,
You went after all the girls,
But did I care?
No.
I was set up to chase after you even if you didn't want me.
But to be so foolish and forget myself in the midst of it all wasn't something I planned on.
It happened in a hail of fire,
And I soon learned how the real world is.
Cold, Dark, and all alone,
I know what's going on.
You thought I was just naive and clueless,
But in my mind I knew exactly what was going on.
I knew and I didn't care.
But if you wanted to play that way I was perfectly fine with it.
What I didn't count on was losing myself and becoming someone after you.
Ravenous and wanting,
You left me in the dark.
It hurt more than the lies,
More than the affairs,
More than the tears,
Because now it was real.
I realized everything in that moment and you didn't even know.
I know you didn't care,
And when I lied there,
My life leaving me,
I knew of your last location.
With Her.
When you told me your lies I believed you in spite of myself.
You told me what you thought I wanted to hear,
And I turned away at every hurtful thing you did.
I made up lies for you,
Set myself into heavy depression and denial.
But I gave it all for you,
And all because I got involved in the wrong thing.
I didn't think that it would be something like this,
I didn't mean to let it get this far,
But it did and I can't take it back.
It's a secret,
A lie,
A fake life that we led.
We held it up until the very end,
And never in all my years have I felt so torn and yet so put together.
You didn't care and just wanted someone to use.
I didn't think anything of it,
I just clawed after you and it turns out that was what you needed.
I'm happy to be of use to you,
But when I sit inside these four white walls,
I wonder if it was worth it at all,
To listen,
To feel,
To hurt,
To die inside,
And the answer always remains.
Yes.
Heavy set lies and cheats,
You went after all the girls,
But did I care?
No.
I was set up to chase after you even if you didn't want me.
But to be so foolish and forget myself in the midst of it all wasn't something I planned on.
It happened in a hail of fire,
And I soon learned how the real world is.
Cold, Dark, and all alone,
I know what's going on.
You thought I was just naive and clueless,
But in my mind I knew exactly what was going on.
I knew and I didn't care.
But if you wanted to play that way I was perfectly fine with it.
What I didn't count on was losing myself and becoming someone after you.
Ravenous and wanting,
You left me in the dark.
It hurt more than the lies,
More than the affairs,
More than the tears,
Because now it was real.
I realized everything in that moment and you didn't even know.
I know you didn't care,
And when I lied there,
My life leaving me,
I knew of your last location.
With Her.