What To Live For

The cord is tied above my head,
I watch it sway, tears unshed.
My heart is filled with heavy dread,
Of all the things I left unsaid.
I think of all the times I bled,
Of all the times I turned and fled.
I stand up slowly from my bed,
Looking to the time ahead.

Who'd have known it would end this way,
But now it's time to face the day.
I know that I no longer feel okay,
And I have no idea what I'm supposed to say.
I look at the rope and watch it sway,
I get down on my knee's and pray.
Let my spirit simply pass away,
And leave my body behind to decay.

I want to back out but it's too late,
It's the very final date.
It's like destiny combined with fate,
As I force myself to stand up straight.
I pull up myself and use my weight,
No more time to debate.
The life I just could not tolerate,
Suddenly it seems so great.

But now my feet are way off the ground,
The world is devoid of all sound.
I slowly spin so I see all around,
As my chest feels like I'm being drowned.
All the dreams I wish I had found,
All the lost chances seem profound.
My heart slowly ceases to pound,
But then my rope is unbouned.

My air comes back as I fall to the floor,
There you stand, in front of the door.
You've never been the kind for gore,
I wonder if this will be war.
I still love you like I did before,
but I'm not sure it's me you adore.
You hold me, my apologies you ignore.
I realize that this is what I should live for.