Searching For That Body.

We’d walk, trying to find evidence
That life had ended in the scrub,
That someone’s final moments
Had been played out somewhere
So close to us. I wanted proof –
Of what I’m not sure, but I wanted
To be there, to bear witness to
Something so incredibly profound.
Maybe then, I would know who I was.

I wanted to feel that repulsion,
To be bedazzled by the finality of
Such an ending.
I needed to know what it was like
To be faced with it.
Perhaps then, I could find
A reason to be so lost.

Days or weeks or months later
We fell apart, and in our own
Twisted way, we grew up.
We lost track of each other and
Aside from the occasional Hi,
Both slipped out of mind.

I can't make sense of it;
I am still so lost,
And yet,
We never did find that body.