for some strange reason i miss you today

i love you but i dont.
i miss you but i dont.
i want you but i dont.
half of a whole tares me apart.
i love him too.
like i love you.
but its also
impossible.
for me to date you.
just the same goes for him.
i love you both.
i miss you both.
i hate you both.
i dread you both.
i'd kill you both.
but also.
i'd kill for you.
i dont want to see you with anyone else.
but i want you to be with someone else.
i really think i loved you.
i really think i cared.
but.
for the odd ass reason.
i know.
you'll never be there.
because youre just another fantasy.
like the ones in my dreams.
youre nothing real.
thats no big deal.
just something that's formed.
me to a habit.
so take my soul.
and tie it away.
because.
for some strange reason.
i miss you today.