The Disease Within Me

It's a feeling that no one should see,
And I never want it to come out,
But every once in awhile,
I explode,

It's a terror that comes out of hiding,
And devours it's victims,
And I can't do anything about it,
Because I lose myself when it happens,

It's a feeling I can't explain,
It just happens,
I want to be cool-headed,
But it gets blown out of proportion,

It's a terror I can't explain,
All I know is that people are afraid of me,
My friends, and my family,
And when I blow up, there is no turning back,

I'm doing it again...

Why am I lying to the world?
I can explain my terror,
I can explain the feeling,
It's time to come clean,

This feeling is called anger,
A feeling with no self control,
My temperature rises,
And my voice echoes throughout the room,

This terror is called abuse,
It happens rarely,
But when it does, I cause the people I love pain,
Verbal and sometimes physical,

It's a disease I've learned to live with,
But I haven't fully controlled,
Maybe this is why I write,
To keep my disease hidden from the world,

I need to stop hiding,
This sickness will not go away,
I don't want professional help,
I only want that if there's no other option open,

But, I do need something,
A vaccine of some sort,
That can put my feeling at ease,
And stop the terror in it's tracks,

And, I think I know exactly where that vaccine is,
The people that I unleash my terror on,
The people I love,
Funny how life works sometimes,

They need to know everything,
They deserve an explanation,
They are the only people in this world,
That can stop the beast within,

I hope they can accept my disease,
They are my only hope,
They are the medicine,
That can cure my illness.