An outsider

Blackness clouds my eyes as I watch you play happily
Your merry smiles invite me to play
But I just shake my head and put on a fake smile
I don't belong here
A pain strikes my heart
As you look at me worriedly
Don't do that I'm not a weak child
I just don't belong
Why do you bother with an outsider?
You don't really care do you?
It's just for your own game isn't it?
Stop trying because I don't belong here.
My feelings are complex
While yours are easy to understand.
What do you understand?
Nothing that makes me feel like I belong.
Yet why don't you seem to understand?
If I don't belong why do you constantly try?
Your attempts are completely futile.
Because there is no way I can belong.
I can't take your smiles or your laughter!
Stop making me want to join you!
Your kindness just messes up my head.
I'm begging you just stop trying!
Tears come to my eyes as my heart screams for acceptance.
Your hands wipe them away and pull me to my feet
Your kind eyes look at me happily.
Aren't I just an outsider to you?
I pour my heart out to you
All my feelings and thoughts
You listen thoughtfully understanding my pain
Am I truly an outsider?
Your radiance shines as you stand up looking down at me
You smile brightly at me as you offer me your hand
I hesitate but slowly grab your hand
I don't want to be an outsider anymore.
Slowly I'll strive to be able to smile from my heart like you
So until then please continue to accept me
It's good to be accepted
But even better to not be an outsider.