Thoughts

Remnants of what life with you used to be
Flee through my mind every night.
I beg whoever's listening to take this misery away
And let me move on with my life.
It doesn't happen.

My sobbing echoes through my soul, even when I'm smiling I know it's right beneath the surface waiting for the opportune moment to
tear me apart again.

In my sleep I dream of being in your arms
being your lover and your world...

But in the morning I awake to know
it was in fact not reality and I can barely pull myself out of bed because I want to be back in that dream again..
want to be against your chest once more..

Have you kiss me the way you used to when everything was perfect, before the lies and separation took place, before anger aroused and hearts were shattered, really before anything actually mattered, because it was pure bliss and I never wanted anything to ever change.

Unfortunately, reality hates me and changed my fantasy into my nightmares.

Now you're not here and I can't even hear your voice anymore even though it was music to my ears and I loved you with every single part of me.

I wanted everything to fix itself,
wanted you to be the man of my dreams,
so maybe you weren't perfect but that didn't matter because I knew we could work things out in the end.
But when the end came suddenly I didn't even know where to turn or what to do because losing you was the one thing that could've made me lose my mind.

And even though we couldn't speak you were the only thing I could hear and the only thing I could think about and now even though I can still hear you I feel like you're fading.

I want to cling to every moment but it hurts too much to hold on,
I thought through the silence we could learn something new but all I'm learning is that I can't be without you.