The War Inside My Head
All these confusion inside my head.
You crippled my brain, turned it to mush.
The simplest choice felt like life or death.
I made mistakes over mistakes, slowly destroying what we have.
No words I say can express how sorry I felt.
Pushing people away, is my self defense.
I don't want to hurt people, but I don't want to get hurt myself, so that's why I hurt
people. It's a inner defense Makenism. Sadly it made my thoughts
go out of control and began a riot deep inside my head.
With brain as the war zone and you were what my thoughts were figting for,
there was a all out battle inside of my head. The battle didn't hurt just me alone. It effected everyone around me, with my mood-y-ness. Because of the war I said things
that should have never been said and did things I never should have done.
It was a pointless war, with no one as the winner. Because the war suddenly stopped
when you told me you had enough. As you went further and further away, I started to
go blind. My sight was still there, but my thoughts were covering my view of life.
I wanted to go back in time and stopped myself for beginning such a war in the first place.
Maybe , just maybe I wouldn't be so blind over all these stupid emotions I feel.
Time passes and now we are in the present future.
I find myself waking up completely blind and unaware of my surroundings. I hear your
voice in the background. You're laughing and having fun, but what's this?
Someone else has given you a reason to smile and laugh. He tells you he loves you and you tell him the same back. My heart suddenly gets a joult. It stops working and I am fall to ground and I start to cry. As the first tear touches the ground, the ground I am on crumbles. I fall down into a great depression. With no one to catch my hand and save me. I slowly fall deeper and deeper into it. The deeper I go, the more I hear you say you love him.
Will someone ever catch me, or will I continue to fall forever and ever in this empty place, hearing he say he loves you and you say the same? Maybe I'm just one of those people who never finds love because like them I'm destined to be alone?
At the end of this hell, all I see is the wreckage from the war inside my head. This depression is the end result of the great war. With the damage set at unrepairable, the friends lost at uncountable. I try to recover myself from the pit. As my thoughts rebuilds the ground I once stood on, they find my heart with cracks on it. As my thoughts repairs all the cracks, some of my friends are slowly returning. Time starts to move back backwards and eventually everything is the way it was. The damage is almost fully fixed. Just a scar on my heart is left, as a reminder for the hell I've been through. I look at my repaired heart and tell myself,” I promise you I will never do this again!”
A few year has has passed, and I see her again.
But I myself don't know what will happen next.
You crippled my brain, turned it to mush.
The simplest choice felt like life or death.
I made mistakes over mistakes, slowly destroying what we have.
No words I say can express how sorry I felt.
Pushing people away, is my self defense.
I don't want to hurt people, but I don't want to get hurt myself, so that's why I hurt
people. It's a inner defense Makenism. Sadly it made my thoughts
go out of control and began a riot deep inside my head.
With brain as the war zone and you were what my thoughts were figting for,
there was a all out battle inside of my head. The battle didn't hurt just me alone. It effected everyone around me, with my mood-y-ness. Because of the war I said things
that should have never been said and did things I never should have done.
It was a pointless war, with no one as the winner. Because the war suddenly stopped
when you told me you had enough. As you went further and further away, I started to
go blind. My sight was still there, but my thoughts were covering my view of life.
I wanted to go back in time and stopped myself for beginning such a war in the first place.
Maybe , just maybe I wouldn't be so blind over all these stupid emotions I feel.
Time passes and now we are in the present future.
I find myself waking up completely blind and unaware of my surroundings. I hear your
voice in the background. You're laughing and having fun, but what's this?
Someone else has given you a reason to smile and laugh. He tells you he loves you and you tell him the same back. My heart suddenly gets a joult. It stops working and I am fall to ground and I start to cry. As the first tear touches the ground, the ground I am on crumbles. I fall down into a great depression. With no one to catch my hand and save me. I slowly fall deeper and deeper into it. The deeper I go, the more I hear you say you love him.
Will someone ever catch me, or will I continue to fall forever and ever in this empty place, hearing he say he loves you and you say the same? Maybe I'm just one of those people who never finds love because like them I'm destined to be alone?
At the end of this hell, all I see is the wreckage from the war inside my head. This depression is the end result of the great war. With the damage set at unrepairable, the friends lost at uncountable. I try to recover myself from the pit. As my thoughts rebuilds the ground I once stood on, they find my heart with cracks on it. As my thoughts repairs all the cracks, some of my friends are slowly returning. Time starts to move back backwards and eventually everything is the way it was. The damage is almost fully fixed. Just a scar on my heart is left, as a reminder for the hell I've been through. I look at my repaired heart and tell myself,” I promise you I will never do this again!”
A few year has has passed, and I see her again.
But I myself don't know what will happen next.