Surrender

A year flies by and I’m still the same
Alone and stuck in a body I despise
No one knows how I really feel or who I am
I am a pretender
A liar
A fake
Not knowing who I am and acting as if I do
Takes a toll on me emotionally and physically
Tired
Listless
Worn-out
I can’t sleep like I used to
Eat like I used to
Think like I used to
Breathing becomes hard and agonizing
With a constant throbbing inside my head
I realize I can’t live like this anymore
I am finally ready to admit that I need help
But wanting and actually doing are two
Different things
I wait for the right moment
Take a deep breath and whisper out loud
“It’s now or never”
Tears stream down my face as I tell my story
By the time I am done I can barley see
My eyes sting and burn
But
With all the love that is in the room
I understand I am not alone
I was never alone.