Donna Toki Demo Waratte

To think
I was really that stupid
To have ever believed
That you could ever really
Love me
I watched
For such a long time
Waiting
Crying
Loving
Hating
Waiting for you
To notice me
Crying for you
In your pain
Loving you always
Hating myself
Hating that I couldn't
Say anything
Do anything
To make you see me
To make you love me
You saw me
But you saw
What you wanted to see
You saw a friend
You loved me
But you loved
What you wanted to love
You loved a friend
As a friend
But I never stopped
Loving you
As much more
Than just a friend
If I would have
Told you the truth
It would have
Been a mistake
But I can't help
But wonder
If it could have worked
No
You never loved me that way
You could never
Love me the way
I loved you
I was destined
To a life alone
You say
Destiny doesn't exist
But how can it not
I loved you
More than you will ever know
And it still hurts
I don't know why
But I think I do
I am just afraid
To admit the truth
Even to myself
So I tell myself
Just keep smiling
Donna toki demo waratte
I want to hate you
Because you never loved me
But I forgave you
Instead of hating
I let it all go
I thought I did
But I forgave you
And just kept hating me
But I want to be able
To tell people
I hate you
But I can't
I don't know
How to deal with that
It still hurts too much
Because I think
It still hurts so much
Because of what
I don't want to know
But I'm afraid
That the reason it still hurts
Might be because.....

I never stopped....loving you