Why?

Words that were said
Repeated in my head
it's not your fault,
I'm so sorry
I'm a liar to myself
Why did I think I could stay happy?

I've got everything to lose
But nothing left to win
I never learned from my past
So it's doomed to come again and again
I can't believe this
Why did I think I could stay happy?

Smiles treated like lies
Lies spoken as truth
I can't believe everything that I'm told
Because I'm lost to myself
Stuck behind this high wall
Why did I think I could stay happy?

Louder, louder, please turn it up
I need to get numbed by the words
My daily dose of novocaine
Anything to stop this
Only to myself do I feel hate
Why did I think I could stay happy?