I carry his life on my shoulders,(voluntary)

music is streaming around us.
you dance and mingle with others
its like the musics apart of you
as soon as you step into the room
your home
your alive
but i sit on the chair and watch you
i should be as alive a you
enjoying myself like i used to
but the music reminded me
of when i tried to kill myself in the inside
to hurt what was on the outside
like he did
to make it stop
and we did it together
you weren't a part of that
you wouldn't of understood
you were his best-friend
and you didn't care to see what he was doing
you just joined him occasionally
2 sides
torn apart
now hes gone because i couldn't make him stop
i feel into his spot in life
i try to carry on his lies
drink away his pain because i can
that's the best thing i can do
and the razor scars and new cuts
i put there because of life
even so, there for him too
you cannot
see me
the song ends and you kiss me
and i kiss you and i know hes there
someplace in your mind, you remember
there's an empty hole in your heart
where he left, i have it too
and that hole is what attaches us.
your him
and I'm him too