Watercolors

isolated.
locked away inside myself.
the faces around me blend together until they are nothing but a blur.

i couldn't deal with the pain.
i couldn't deal with the shame.
you left, without goodbye.
now my world is made up of meaningless swirls.
nothing comes in, and nothing comes out.

i've run to far to come back.

you stabbed my heart.
left it to die on the sidewalk.
left the rain to mix with the blood.
and wash away like watercolors.

because you never cared.

you tore me apart.
and watched me close up.
watched me separate myself from those who is love.
all in grim satisfaction.

maybe someday i'll open up.
start to see the world clearly.
but when you come back.
come back for me, and tear me apart again
i'll go back in my shell.
dwelling in turmoil.

it always happens.
always.