Screaming Insecurities

The half-moons on my cheeks are a tell-tale sign
Of the fingernails that dug into this skin of mine
A sure sign of nervousness
A sign of my madness
And yet I will still tell anyone who asks that I am fine

Eyes that are ringed with tired dark circles
Tell of nightmares that have scared many girls
I can't ever fall fast asleep
For fear of my soul being reaped
All the nightmares that make my head whirl

The screaming on the inside that no one hears
The only thing keeping the world from my fears
But I don't know how
You can hear them now
These things that I hide even more than my tears

You can't tell me that I'm not scaring you away
After every single meaningless breath I take
My heart can't take it
But I can take a hit
But I don't see how you still look at me that way

I'm screaming on the inside, I'm screaming on the out
I'm screaming, screaming, letting out the shout
I'm screaming my insecurities
I'm screaming my deficiencies
I'm screaming it to the world, so hear me out

I'm lonely with my friends and lonely when I'm not
This heart has no home to beat and no way to un-knot
I'm nervous when we're here
I'm nervous when we're there
But I've learned to live without, and take what I've got

I'm secretly itching to find the blade I once loved
Just to stare at it to see if there's a trace of blood
To see a memory
Of an insecurity
But I leave it in the place to which it's been shoved

It's hard to trust someone so new to your life
And in the meantime I cause myself strife
Can it be true,
This feeling for you?
My own words can cut just as deep as a knife

I'm screaming on the inside, and also on the outside
I'm screaming these things, there's no more to hide
You know I'm screaming
You know the feeling
I'm screaming these insecurites as a way to confide

And when I say confide, of course you say, "In who?"
And of course you know I will say, "Only in you."
It's the truth, I swear
By a lock of my hair
I confide this in you and I know that it's true

So I'm screaming out loud for the world to hear
I'm saying it ever so loud and ever so clear
Screaming insecurities
Screaming deficiencies
Screaming them all and denouncing my fear