Pain

Pain is a broken feeling,
To be helpless,
Lost,
Lonely,
To feel like you don’t belong.

To know that you can’t do anything right,
To know that you have failed before you even start,
To know you will be forever alone.

Is being miserable right?
I don’t know,
But I do know that love is in ones fantasies,
There is no love just hate.

But how is it that I feel loved by one?
When I know that love is a fantasy?
To feel loved only by one person,
And when he is not with me,
I feel like I’m not whole.

Knowing that you are broken,
And you are still accepted by him,
Knowing that you should be crying,
But you are unable to shed a single tear.

I know what true pain is,
Living every single day,
Waiting out the days,
And still unsure where to go,
Wishing that you could be dead,
To all those who ever have known you.

How many times have you wished that you would die?
To know that there was never a true purpose for you?

To be breaking your own heart,
To have others happy,
And you are still unable to be happy,
With despair filling your shattered,
Broken heart making it weight thousands of pounds,
Only made of pain and suffering.

To know that being a broken,
Hallow person will be all you ever are.

To never put up a fight,
And to give in.
To be hurt,
And to never make a sound.
To cry,
But to never having anybody to hold you.
To feel like every one hates you.

To always carry the weight of the world alone,
And to never ask for help,
Or make any sound.

To think you are not pretty,
When others think you are gorgeous,
To only have the rain comfort you,
While you cry,
And one ever hears.

To cry in your boy friends t-shirt,
That has been hidden under your pillows,
Knowing that he can’t hold you,
And wishing he was with you,
Making you cry harder with the thought.

To always feel a person’s disappointment in you,
And to carry that burden everyday,
And you are never able to say anything.

To see pictures of yourself,
And being unable to see anything in your smile,
You are only able to see emptiness.
To see a shadow behind you,
And know that it isn’t yours.

To have love shattered at your feet,
Like a bucket of ice cold water thrown in your face.
And soon after,
You begin having the ice consuming your heart,
So that all you feel,
That is forever known as ice cold loneliness,
That has never shattered.

Wanting to hide from the world,
And only showing yourself to the trees,
To run away into a forest,
And forget everything that has ever truly happened to you.
To feel loneliness,
Sadness,
Anger,
And depression consuming you,
And never let go.

Having the knowledge that you have failed,
And wanting to hide from those,
Who all want to help you.
To know that loneliness,
Is the only friend in your life.

Trying to make sense of what is happening in your life,
But becoming so confused,
Unable to make sense,
Of the current events.

To feel like the only love that you receive,
Comes from Mother Earth.
To be given something,
And then have it taken away.

To know that you cannot fix,
What you have sewed,
And only being able to watch,
As it grows,
And consumes everything,
That you ever loved.

To try and fix everything,
But to have it come out,
Even worse than before,
To have everything ripped out of your grasp.

To get sick,
And deciding,
What was the point,
To getting better.
To know that life truly wasn’t for you,
And giving up living,
But waking up,
To find out,
You are still alive.

Letting your heart be broken everyday,
And never showing any pain,
To let others walk all over you,
And never saying anything,
When dirt has been,
Kicked in your face.

Being able to only love pain,
Like a sword,
In your side,
And you are unable to get it out,
You soon begin to see,
Your crimson red blood,
Drain from your body slowly.

A pain,
Not welcomed,
But appears,
Just to spite you.

Pain is a thing,
That can make your blood run cold,
And makes you,
Want to run,
Because pain,
Has never been any fun.

Can pain be love?
Yes,
And no,
It always depends on the situation.

Pain is a thing,
She has always been lonely,
And unwanted,
By all,
Who have ever seen her.

But why her?
Why am I the only one to embrace her?
She is my only friend,
In my pain filled past,
She gives a meaning,
To what has happened.
Gives the reason,
To never look at the pain,
That in your past,
Has always come to you,
In your dreams,
Like the fog,
Before the rain.

I am the only friend she has,
I embrace her,
With the past in my heart.