I think i am going insane
I think I am going insane
I think I will snap
Once I do all I can do is run
Run far far away
Ending up on a beach
It is cold
I am calling to God to please take my life
I am begging asking ‘why why does this happened to me?’
I sit crying, crying for hours
I look around for anything sharp
I need this pain to leave me now
I find nothing
So settle for my finger nails
I sit and scratch
Drawing blood to the surface
I look to the sky black stained cheeks asking
‘why? Why did I let her ruin this? Why cant I help this?’
I look back to my arm
Not good enough for me
I take my nails
Dig them into my legs
Slowly start dragging
Up up up
Leaving behind marks everywhere
Eyes blood shot
Blood everyplace
The phone goes off
‘where are you?’ she asks
‘waiting’
Is the answer she gets
She gets scared goes to mommy
‘ms Lisa something wrong with Kara’ she tells her
Mommy texts kara ‘what is wrong?’
‘everything I want to die’ is what her daughters answer is
I sit. Looking at my legs not happy with them
I dig my fingers in again and again wanting to feel something
I feel no pain no regret no happiness
Nothing
I want a feeling but cant find it
I look trying to find a way out
My eyes lay on the ocean
Freezing the moon glistening in it
With out a thought I am up walking to it
As I am getting closer mommy comes to the save
‘come up to Miss. Rita’s ’
Once again saving my life
I do as told taking off running
I get there and lie saying I am fine
They see the marks I have made but say nothing
Nothing is told to me about them
I think I am going insane
I am told ‘Kara you are not suicidal everyone loves you’
Is sit not listening
After time I put one the fake
By the end of the night it is all laughs
But in my head I think
Why? Why did I let her of all people ruin this day?
Every time I look at her I see what I do to myself
I am told by her ‘I hate you. You are a piece of shit’
The thing I do is say back ‘and you wonder why I hate myself. But no not anymore I hate you’
I think I am going insane
‘This is because of you’ I tell her
She turns the other cheek not willing to admit
She my own flesh and blood
I sit in my room to escape
Thinking of leaving
Away from her
The one that ruined everything
The person I loath
My sister
Once again making me insane
I think I will snap
Once I do all I can do is run
Run far far away
Ending up on a beach
It is cold
I am calling to God to please take my life
I am begging asking ‘why why does this happened to me?’
I sit crying, crying for hours
I look around for anything sharp
I need this pain to leave me now
I find nothing
So settle for my finger nails
I sit and scratch
Drawing blood to the surface
I look to the sky black stained cheeks asking
‘why? Why did I let her ruin this? Why cant I help this?’
I look back to my arm
Not good enough for me
I take my nails
Dig them into my legs
Slowly start dragging
Up up up
Leaving behind marks everywhere
Eyes blood shot
Blood everyplace
The phone goes off
‘where are you?’ she asks
‘waiting’
Is the answer she gets
She gets scared goes to mommy
‘ms Lisa something wrong with Kara’ she tells her
Mommy texts kara ‘what is wrong?’
‘everything I want to die’ is what her daughters answer is
I sit. Looking at my legs not happy with them
I dig my fingers in again and again wanting to feel something
I feel no pain no regret no happiness
Nothing
I want a feeling but cant find it
I look trying to find a way out
My eyes lay on the ocean
Freezing the moon glistening in it
With out a thought I am up walking to it
As I am getting closer mommy comes to the save
‘come up to Miss. Rita’s ’
Once again saving my life
I do as told taking off running
I get there and lie saying I am fine
They see the marks I have made but say nothing
Nothing is told to me about them
I think I am going insane
I am told ‘Kara you are not suicidal everyone loves you’
Is sit not listening
After time I put one the fake
By the end of the night it is all laughs
But in my head I think
Why? Why did I let her of all people ruin this day?
Every time I look at her I see what I do to myself
I am told by her ‘I hate you. You are a piece of shit’
The thing I do is say back ‘and you wonder why I hate myself. But no not anymore I hate you’
I think I am going insane
‘This is because of you’ I tell her
She turns the other cheek not willing to admit
She my own flesh and blood
I sit in my room to escape
Thinking of leaving
Away from her
The one that ruined everything
The person I loath
My sister
Once again making me insane