Miscarriage

i knew you were there
i saw you grow within her
but when she came back
but between her tears
she said you were gone
that they had lost you
and i was torn
i was only old enough
to know that death
sometimes happens
but i couldn't grasp
that who had grew inside her
for 8 1/2 months
has now been taken away
you had a name
a place to call home
and a person who loved you
no, a family that did
and somebody took you away
and i blamed the doctors
and the nurses
for not trying hard enough
because god
no longer existed in my mind
and if he does
taking away that innocent child
only made
me hate him even more
i wonder if she knew me
from the touch of my hands
on her moms belly
i wondered if she understood
that i loved her
even tho she hadn't seen me
and if she did
would she still have loved me
threw the eyeliner i wear
to the clothes that i put on
i want to think
that she did
even tho her tiny eyes
hadn't had the chance to open
and i want her to know
that wherever she is
she still holds a place
inside my heart