My Happy Curse

It’s hygienic,
Feet in smart shiny shoes,
Why isn’t it my death that I could choose?
Diagnosed and in shock,

My happy curse,
Leukemia,
The source of my happiness,
Strange yet painful,
I don’t have to guess the future,
I don’t have to fast forward.

Freeze it there,
Rewind it back to the part about my hair,
Should I do my worst at school?
Go to parties and be the fool?

My happy curse,
Leukemia,
You’d think death was a horror,
Call me fickle,
But death is beautiful.

I’m not scared of dying,
While everyone was planning,
I was left behind,
This time it’s me going ahead.

With my own happy curse.