What about Now?

I have this fear of change within people.
I have this fear of change within myself.
Someday I will have to face the fear of growth and evolution.
I'm not sure if I have what it takes.

I can only hope that I make something of myself.
I can only hope that I won't fail in the long run.
Life seems to go so fast and I'm not sure if I can keep up.
Can I push?

To put it bluntly, I am afraid to grow up.
All the competition might be too much to bear.
I'm afraid of the transition from childhood to adulthood will tear me down,
And I won't survive.

I keep thinking that there are only two more years.
There are only two more years until I am left to the world.
I have to live on my own.
I have to work for myself.
Basically, you have one chance to make something of yourself,
And you better not screw up.

I remember once, I was seven or so.
I remember telling my mother I never wanted to grow up.
I remember she told me I was silly and had to grow up, it was a fact of life.
Since then I have matured, and have realized there is no stopping this.
I am just going to learn to cope.
Or at least try.

Sometimes life isn't beautiful art or poetry.
Sometimes, it's just straight out horrible and tragic.
Sometimes, it is like a pencil that has run out of lead.
There is nothing you can do but make the best out of it.

I think I have done a good job so far of being optimistic.
Making people laugh with me, not at me.

All I can think about is the struggles.
The struggles are going to break me,
And I will have to build myself back up.
Can I do it though? Do I have the strength?
I can't help but question.

I know I should have confidence, but it's is so hard to find.
The process of becoming independent is going to be long and tiresome.
Independence for myself, by myself.
That will be my declaration.

The tragedies of this world have gotten to me.
There is so much good done, but it is all covered with the thick mud of pessimism.
Why can't the mud be washed away? There can't be that much.
Can there?

There are so many people I could blame for the sadness.
There are so many people I want to blame.
But there is no one to blame but myself.

When we finally make something of ourselves,
We are still living in an unhappy cycle.
We spend money to make more money.
The unhappiness never stops.

There is only one person that can make the feelings change.
That is you.
No one knows what goes on inside your mind,
Except you.
Show everyone that different is good, that happiness can be obtained.

Feelings are like a paint brush dipped in too many colors.
Try to hold back pick complimentary colors.
Paint that picture you have been wanting to paint your whole life.
Do not hold back.

Love don’t hate;
Be happy and don’t abominate.
Why should it be up to you to decide what sadness to add to this society?

This worldwide community needs to slow down,
Try taking a circuitous path home.
Think about what you’ve done wrong and improve.
This is the only way we can change and transform.

Slow down sometimes and let the Priestley fill your lungs from the air around you,
And slowly let out the Black out of your lungs.
Just think.

When I try to tell people these thoughts,
They ignore me, or they tell me I’m crazy.
No one wants to face the cold facts.
We need to save ourselves.
We need to before there is nothing left to do but sit and be controlled.

In God we trust? Maybe.
In people we trust? Yes. We have to.
There is no other choice.

We might not have to be like Noah,
We don’t have to conform to two by two.
We can let our minds infringe where they haven’t gone before.
We can let our knowledge make an impact.

Although making simple choices to alter one’s lifestyle might seem easy,
I must exhort you to take more of a chance.
Do not be scared.
I know I said I was, but it’s a fear I will face for the good of my well being.

Some people say life is like a book with a beginning and an end.
I say that life is like a cup of hot chocolate.
In the end, you will always be left with thick problems to face.
The end will never be as sweet as the beginning,
But it will be worth it,
If you make it worth it.

There have been restless nights,
There have been early mornings,
But each one of those had a purpose,
Even if that purpose was to do nothing and think.

Although I can’t help but notice the flaws in humanity,
I also see a pillow of hope under everyone’s heads.
Maybe there still is a chance,
Maybe I won’t fail.

Maybe when I grow up,
I no longer will be scared,
And I will be allowed to be that leader I know I can be.
Maybe, I can find my inner sangfroid.
Someday, I will be like the lady holding the torch high above my head in pride.

Maybe I will be able to ameliorate those around me,
To think positive.
If everyone would help everyone,
There would be some hope left.

Being a good person is like a lion chasing a prey.
It should be of intrinsic values.
Do not fight the feeling. Let the feeling live inside of you.
Let that feeling shine as bright as it possible can.