Dear Mom

I’m trying too hard to be who I’m not,
To want what I don’t, to feel what I can’t.
I can’t pretend to be your little girl anymore.
I can’t pretend to be strong like you want me to be.
And I can’t pretend that I still love you,
After everything you put me through.
I did what you said, I pushed aside my pain,
But the numbness I feel now,
is worse than the fear I felt back then.
If you opened your eyes, you might see the cut
Up child that I’ve become. You might see the scars
You left on my heart, or the pain you left on my face.
You told me to push aside my pain, my fear, and my feelings,
Did you ever think that I might actually listen?