I'm trying not to love you,
Telling myself you're just a friend,
Willing my heart to believe such lies,
Sealing my passion away within.

I'm trying not to miss you,
Ignoring the longing built up inside,
Contenting myself with your presence.
I mean, it's not as if you've died.

I'm trying to be your best friend,
Focusing on being there for you always;
Your happiness my first concern,
Denying myself submission to the haze.

I'm trying not to remember,
Remember all the times we've had,
How it felt when we were together,
Holding on to the present, not the past.

I'm trying not to cry,
Not letting tears betray my effort,
Hiding all of my weaknesses,
Gripping false hopes of my self-comfort.

I'm trying to follow the rules,
Determined to be good as can be.
If I behave, if I succeed,
Will you please come back to me?