How was I supposed to know you weren't aloud to enjoy it?

I don't want to die.
Just wish I was never born.
Isn't life great?
I can't help but laugh.
It's an insane little chuckle.
I've cracked.
There is no way to mend the scattered remains of my sanity.
My mind is a jigsaw puzzle in which no two pieces fit together.
So I sit in the corner of the padded room of life and stare.
They stare back.
Can't you see them?
That;s strange.
Inhale, Exhale, Inhale again.,
Shit what comes next?
I have lost all fear.
For everything I had ever feared had come true,
Got kicked out of hell.
How was I supposed to know you weren't aloud to enjoy it?
Life is like being in the mafia.
The only way out is death.
But I've never been in the mafia.
Whoa, heavy stuff... I think the meds are kicking in.