I don't understand

I don't understand,
The addiction that I have,
Addicted to the pain,
That comes fom my razor blade.

I don't understand,
How I could trust,
Someone so dead,
That they didn't care.

I don't understand,
The hole in my chest,
Where my heart's supposed to be,
Before it was ripped out.

I don't understand,
Why I'm such a fool,
Sometimes so oblivious,
To the hate around me.

I don't understand,
Why people are so cruel,
They love to see you cry,
To make you wanna die.

I do understand,
The blood on my lips,
The pain on my arms,
The razor in my hand.