Alone . Forever .
No one can see me as I am,
Because I don't know who that is,
I let myself fade away into darkness,
I've let my soul wither and die,
I am nothing,
I am no one,
No one can like me, because I don't like others,
No one can love me, because i don't love myself,
Everyone who was ever close to me,
Has slithered away without a trace,
My only friend, is being taken away,
By the person they love,
By another person who hate's me,
Life is pointless,
a constant let down,
I hate myself more than anyone can know,
I hate other's seeing me,
judging me ruthlessly,
no one understands me,
I wish they could live as me,
See what their cruel remarks do,
How it feels to have chunks ripped out of your heart,
I wan't people to feel my pain,
But they can't, i'm forced to bear this burden,
My life stays stable by their averting eyes,
too much attention sucks life out of me,
I try to stay un-noticed,
but life makes me be seen,
it makes me feel like eyes are burrowing into me,
even when no ones looking,
Things are too structured, it crushes the only part of me that offers an escape,
my imagination,
it sets me free from the terrors of life,
takes me to places where people like me,
where I am a somebody,
Places where I can make fun of those who torment me,
But people are taking away my freedom,
forcing against it, fighting it,
they want me to be in pain,
they want me to die,
why can't I die?
why can't I die?
Why can't I kill myself and rest forever in blissful emptiness,
why am I so weak?
why am I so pathetic?
Just swallow the pills, just slit and bleed, so east yet to hard,
why can't people like me?
why?!
Why must I try to avoid others and change myself?
why must I feel so bad,
Why?! I want to know, someone answer,
But no one will answer me, because i'm alone...
Alone. Forever.
Date Written: May 9th 2009
Because I don't know who that is,
I let myself fade away into darkness,
I've let my soul wither and die,
I am nothing,
I am no one,
No one can like me, because I don't like others,
No one can love me, because i don't love myself,
Everyone who was ever close to me,
Has slithered away without a trace,
My only friend, is being taken away,
By the person they love,
By another person who hate's me,
Life is pointless,
a constant let down,
I hate myself more than anyone can know,
I hate other's seeing me,
judging me ruthlessly,
no one understands me,
I wish they could live as me,
See what their cruel remarks do,
How it feels to have chunks ripped out of your heart,
I wan't people to feel my pain,
But they can't, i'm forced to bear this burden,
My life stays stable by their averting eyes,
too much attention sucks life out of me,
I try to stay un-noticed,
but life makes me be seen,
it makes me feel like eyes are burrowing into me,
even when no ones looking,
Things are too structured, it crushes the only part of me that offers an escape,
my imagination,
it sets me free from the terrors of life,
takes me to places where people like me,
where I am a somebody,
Places where I can make fun of those who torment me,
But people are taking away my freedom,
forcing against it, fighting it,
they want me to be in pain,
they want me to die,
why can't I die?
why can't I die?
Why can't I kill myself and rest forever in blissful emptiness,
why am I so weak?
why am I so pathetic?
Just swallow the pills, just slit and bleed, so east yet to hard,
why can't people like me?
why?!
Why must I try to avoid others and change myself?
why must I feel so bad,
Why?! I want to know, someone answer,
But no one will answer me, because i'm alone...
Alone. Forever.
Date Written: May 9th 2009