On the Outside
On the outside, people sought to see a well managed, intelligent, perfect girl.
Normal. Ordinary.
They never would have thought to pry any deeper because if they did, they wouldn’t expect what they were looking for.
My mind churns constantly like an endless cycle of fatigue and dull fear. The pain increasing with each chapter of my life. Never knowing if my wish will come true, to have the growing pain cease to exist, to die.
My soul, sacred in a way, starves within me. Feathers dulling grey, its voice once sugar-coated sweet, now irregular with tears dragging down at each word sung. Wings wasting away with the despair of disuse. Living on false kindness and promises that my life could end the very next day.
My heart tenses at the feel of his touch, tolerating the greasy sensation, allowing him to take over completely all because of the few blissful moments that comes after. Where I can relax in his arms without having to worry anymore, permitting myself the dream of having a normal life.
On the inside, where no one dares sought out, is a sinister, wretched place. Full of doubts, fear and fatigue.
Inside is a girl who is miserable and pained because she can’t live through anything anymore yet she is too frightened to do anything about it.
Lucky enough, this pitiful girl is me…
Normal. Ordinary.
They never would have thought to pry any deeper because if they did, they wouldn’t expect what they were looking for.
My mind churns constantly like an endless cycle of fatigue and dull fear. The pain increasing with each chapter of my life. Never knowing if my wish will come true, to have the growing pain cease to exist, to die.
My soul, sacred in a way, starves within me. Feathers dulling grey, its voice once sugar-coated sweet, now irregular with tears dragging down at each word sung. Wings wasting away with the despair of disuse. Living on false kindness and promises that my life could end the very next day.
My heart tenses at the feel of his touch, tolerating the greasy sensation, allowing him to take over completely all because of the few blissful moments that comes after. Where I can relax in his arms without having to worry anymore, permitting myself the dream of having a normal life.
On the inside, where no one dares sought out, is a sinister, wretched place. Full of doubts, fear and fatigue.
Inside is a girl who is miserable and pained because she can’t live through anything anymore yet she is too frightened to do anything about it.
Lucky enough, this pitiful girl is me…