Negativity

How can I be that
Of who used to be me?
I cannot understand it
Nor do I really try
I am locked here
Cold inside here
Trapped within my mind
Thoughts are swirling
Spinning about
I cannot find it
Than of which I am without
I feel old and dead
I am filled with dread
Frozen here
Inside my head
Hopeless, covered in misery
It is lonely here and dark
I cannot see
Blinded by the truth
Deaf because of lies
Perhaps it is no use
Perhaps I'm meant for the flies
I am tired and afraid
Try as you might
I cannot be saved
I am tired of being betrayed.