If this is change, can I have some more?

You say I’ve changed, and the change is good
but you I’m so secretive still so withdrawn
I told you it’s not you it’s a issue I have with trust

I want to explain but I don’t know how
we hold something so fragile something so easily lost, easily taken away
but now the ends are beginning to fray

I asked you to tell me what you want to know, and you said everything
But my love, I don’t think you know how long that could take
Or what trouble it’d cause, So tell me not to worry
It doesn’t mean I won’t it’d just be a way to ease my doubts

The trust in you still comes in bouts
I am so lost and so confused
yet I faintly know I want to be used
I want to be used and more than likely abused

Not like the past because it was wrong
I want to make you smile
Be a way to keep you from shedding tears that thing that fights your fears

I am lost in a wonderland that isn’t very wonderful
I’m falling away from what I thought I knew
I’m beginning to fall to you
I promised I wouldn’t I swore to you

But this promise is soon to be broken
No matter how hard I fight
It takes so much to not tell you to say there’s nothing

You say its love or hate in your society when people change quickly
I say there is nothing I am just beginning to warm up to you
But please don’t think that that is all
There is so much more I’m just waiting to fall

Break my promises I made to myself
And I’ll have to watch you
Break the promises you made to yourself

Fall for me, when you’d rather run away
Say the things you never wanted to say
Love me when I’m not worth being loved

Do the things the things that contradict your mind
Because those are things that will keep you defined
Help you to remember who you are
When reality is so far